Krakaren Clone (Second Floor)

“It smells like that time you tried microwaving Fancy Feast,” Donut said.
“I was drunk,” I said. “And you ate that shit right up.”^[1]

The Krakaren Clone is a Neighborhood Boss on the Second Floor, and part of the running Rev-Up storyline.^[2] There are at least three separate instances of the Krakaren Clone on the level.^[3]

AI Description

Krakaren Clone!
Level 10 Neighborhood Boss!

First off, this isn’t the Krakaren. This is a Krakaren. For every one that is killed, Krakaren Prime births two more.

Part of a collective mind intent upon destroying any semblance of scientific progress in the universe, the Krakaren is the only communal brain entity in the galaxy who actually gets stupider as time moves on. Consisting of multiple, shrieking tentacles, members of the Krakaren cooperative spend their days birthing their disease-laden minions, creating and selling harmful products, attempting to debate scientific experts, and proselytizing to the weak-minded, all in an attempt to… Well, nobody knows what the hell their end goal is.

Even Eris, Goddess of Chaos, doesn’t want anything to do with these crazy assholes.^[4]

Description

They’d taken some sort of cosmic octopus creature and combined it with your average, suburban, anti-vax, let-me-talk-to-your-manager mom. At least that was my impression.^[5]

The Krakaren Clone is a 20 ft tall, immobile, octopus monster with a beaked mouth and groups of eyes.^[6] She is comprised largely of 15 ft long pink tentacles, each covered in dozens of massive human-shaped mouths with bright red lips^[7]; the mouths screech and scream endlessly, and drip with gooey snot that inflicts the Taint debuff.^[7][2] A longer, thinner tentacle is covered in orifices that spray a fine green mist that causes Vigorous Measles.^[2]

Gallery

Boss Chamber

Cutout wooden letters spell "Live, Laugh, Love" above the door to the Krakaren Clone's boss chambers, which is accessed from the large room where Rev-Up Toilet-Grade Moonshine is distilled. The distillery includes a metal tub bolted to the ground and filled with moonshine, 60 jugs of moonshine, 80 empty jugs, an Alchemy Table, two bicycle-powered blenders, and the recipe for a Rev-Up Immunity Smoothie.^[7]

Her chamber includes Unvaccinated Clurichaun Rev-Up Consultants.

Story

Book 1

The Krakaren Clone is the first boss that Carl and Donut fight on the Second Floor. They receive the Wait, Bosses Can Leave Their Rooms? Achievement when she blasts open the door to her chamber and blindly sends her screaming tentacles into the room.^[7] Although Carl noted that the Second Floor's cinderblock walls are protected from breaking, the Krakaren Clone's tentacles destroy them.^[2]

Carl is infected with the Taint before he consumes a Rev-Up Immunity Smoothie, and is unable to heal. Donut casts her Second Chance Spell and sends a resurrected clurichaun into the Krakaren Clone's chamber with a Carl's Jug O'Boom and a stick of Goblin Dynamite. Carl and Donut hunker down behind a makeshift fortress made of old bits of the "Speedbump," and cover their heads with the Alchemy Table. As Carl curls protectively around Donut, he tells her he's probably about to die and she should return to Brandon Andrews.^[2]

The blast kills the boss and nearly kills Carl, whose health is down to 6%. The Alchemy Table had broken his legs, but his Unbreakable feet ultimately kept him alive long enough for Donut to drag him from the burning room by his cloak.^[6]

References

ALL CHARACTERS
Royal Court	Carl • Donut • Mordecai • Mongo • Samantha • Sir Rendlegore
Aliens	All Aliens • Dungeon Admins • Former Crawlers • God Sponsors
Crawlers	Earth Crawlers • Former Crawlers • Former Cookbook Authors
Earth	All Earth Characters • Earth Crawlers
NPCs	All NPCs • Bosses • Deities • Demons • Desperado Club Employees • Pets

Mechanics: Bosses • Crawlers • Elites • NPCs

Keyword Definitions: Feral • Vorpal