Dumber of the Flunkies Quest

This article contains unmarked spoilers for Book 4.

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“If I get eaten by a giant, two-headed cocker spaniel so help me I will never forgive you.”[1]

The Dumber of the Flunkies is a Group Quest distributed by the System AI on the Fifth Floor after Carl and Donut successfully complete "Where the Red God Glows Quest" by luring Orthrus out of Bubble 543 with a Scroll of Meat Hooks.[2] The quest requires all crawlers in Bubble 543 and Bubble 18 to reunite Orthrus with Emberus, who is blindly burning down Bubble 18 because Tserendolgor is a dog.[3][2]

Shortly after, the System AI issues the Get Orthrus World Quest, which promises massive rewards to any crawlers who kill Orthrus before "the Dumber of the Flunkies" is complete.[2]

AI Description

New Quest. The Dumber of the Flunkies.

THIS IS A GROUP QUEST. All survivors of the previous group quest are now a party to this quest. And why the hell not, all Crawlers in Bubble number 18 are also added to the quest. Let’s make it a fiesta.

Your party has been designated Host of this Group Quest.
No parties may opt-out of this quest.

Oh boy, oh boy do we have a situation here. Emberus, god of fire and ash seems to believe his son’s missing puppy is inside of bubble 18. The dog is not, in fact, within that bubble. He’s just outside of 543, having been recently rescued from a painful death. The next step should be easy. You just gotta bring the two together. Once that happens, both Emberus and Orthrus will immediately return to the Celestial Halls and everything will be almost back to normal.

If something happens to the pup, you will fail this quest. If you fail this quest, you will each in turn be smote by Emberus one by one, no matter what floor you’re on. You probably don’t know what that means. You don’t want to know what that means.

Hmmm. Maybe that’s a little too easy. Do you know not a single crawler in Bubble 18 has yet died? The whole world has been turned to lava, and they’re all still alive! That’s just ridiculous. That’s no fiesta. Let me think on this for a minute.

Reward: You will receive a Platinum Quest Box![4]

Quest Status

Quest Complete! The Dumber of the Flunkies!

You saved a sweet, innocent puppy! He’s now frolicking on the twelfth floor where he will soon resume his training. Nun-defiling is back on the menu!

Reward: You’ve received a platinum quest box![5]

References

  1. ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Gate of the Feral Gods (Chapter 30) (p. 472). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 Dinniman, Matt. The Gate of the Feral Gods (Chapter 30)
  3. ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Gate of the Feral Gods (Chapter 28)
  4. ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Gate of the Feral Gods (Chapter 30) (pp. 470-471). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
  5. ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Gate of the Feral Gods (Chapter 31) (pp. 488-489). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.