Carl/Cookbook Entries

System Message. Carl's entries are sorted by book. Spoilers are not hidden on this page. Proceed at your own risk.

Carl takes Drakea's request for information to heart, and shares as many details about his plans and actions as possible in the 25th edition of the Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook. He spends most of his downtime recording new information on his second scratchpad and entering it into the cookbook.

3. The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook

Carl records this entry shortly before descending to the Fifth Floor.

Here’s the thing. These poor bastards are just as much victims as we are. Not just the NPCs, but the mobs, too. That doesn’t mean don’t kill them. Hell, I realized something today. Killing them is actually the best thing we can do for them. But you know what I also realized? All of you, all twenty-four of you who have come before me? You’ve all failed in one thing. If we’re really going to burn this place to the ground, we need to actually do it and not just talk about it. We need to start killing them, too. I don’t know for sure how to do it yet, but I’ll come up with something.

They will not break me. Fuck them all. They will not break me.

But I will break them.

This is my promise to myself, to my friends, and to you, anyone who reads these words. I will break them all.

- Crawler Carl, 25th Edition of The Dungeon Anarchist’s Cookbook^[1]

4. The Gate of the Feral Gods

Carl records these entries immediately after Loita's assassination.

<Note added by Crawler Carl. 25th Edition>

Coolie. I know you can’t read this, but I want you and every future reader to know that I used the information from your passage to help plan the first step. If it wasn’t for your words, I wouldn’t have had the confidence or knowledge to act. What I did today I did for you and for a little girl named Bonnie. My only regret is that my first step was a small one, and I don’t know yet if I’ll survive long enough to take a second.

But if I do manage that second step, please forgive me. What I do from here on out is solely for me and my people. As long as I am alive, I will do everything I can to make them burn.

They will not fucking break me.^[2]

<Note added by Crawler Carl. 25th Edition>

One.^[2]

5. The Butcher's Masquerade

Page 1

System Message. The full text is several pages long; reproducing it in full could violate the "Fair Use" exemption to copyright law that all wikis operate under. You can find it on pp. 566-568 of the Kindle and Paperback editions, or starting at 2min 0sec of Chapter 64 in the audiobook.

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th edition>

I’m starting something I don’t think will succeed. I will be documenting every step along the way. We have a method of communication that allows prying eyes not to see it. See my earlier post about the coffee shop author’s kit to see how it works. I don’t know if the following will be useful or not to future readers, but as Drakea suggested, we should be detailed as possible, especially with plans that could possibly lead to our deaths. If anything, this will be a record of my demise. Sorry if there’s language from my culture you don’t understand. Here’s a copy and paste of page one of our notes:^[3]

Carl writes that the Butcher's Masquerade is a trap meant to wipe out the top crawlers, most likely in a boss battle against Queen Imogen at the end of the party. He is concerned that Tsarina Signet is most likely going to force him to face Queen Imogen before or during the party, but he has a few ideas. First, they need to agree on their goals:

Goal one is to survive. Everything else is secondary. However, if we meet all of these secondary objectives, we’ll not only survive here, we’ll also have a good footing once we hit the ninth floor.^[3]

The secondary goals are (summarized and order from most important to least important, which is the opposite of how Carl sorts them):

1. Kill all Hunters on the Sixth Floor.
2. Kill Lucia Mar. (Mission claimed by Florin.)
3. Kill Queen Imogen and seize her castle.
4. Send the Changelings to the next floor down.
5. Kill Eva Sigrid.
6. Solve the Tina Quest.

The page is signed by Katia Grim, Imani, Elle McGibbons, Donut, Florin, Louis, Firas, Li Na, Daniel Bautista, and Chris Andrews.^[3]

Page 5

System Message. Find the full text on pp. 578-580 of the Kindle and Paperback editions, or starting at 0min of Chapter 65 in the audiobook.

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th edition> From page five of our planning notes:^[4]

Carl summarizes the safety procedures in place in the High Elf Castle ballroom, and cautions that Queen Imogen will likely be someone one of them knew on Earth. He suggests using Gideon to create a distraction and draw away the guards, then having someone sneak into the control room to deactivate the protections.

In the responses, Imani notes that they need a better way to communicate, and Elle mentions that Carl's "idea of using Donut's charm" against Queen Imogen may also help seize the control room.^[4]

CARL IS ALWAYS IN THE BATHROOM. AND I DON’T LIKE THE CHARM PLAN. IT’S THE NIPPLE RING ALL OVER AGAIN. I DON’T LIKE BEING STABBED, CARL. I’D LIKE FOR YOU TO GET STABBED FOR ONE OF YOUR PLANS SOMETIME.

Sign the notes, Donut. ~Carl.

IT’S QUITE OBVIOUS WHO IS SPEAKING, CARL.^[4]

Page 7

System Message. Find the full text on pp. 587-590 of the Kindle and Paperback editions, or starting at 0min of Chapter 66 in the audiobook.

Page 10

System Message. Find the full text on pp. 636-638 of the Kindle and Paperback editions, or starting at 0min of Chapter 72 in the audiobook.

As predicted, someone has caught onto how often the team uses the bathroom. Samantha adds to the notes for the first time:

NOBODY GOES TO THE BATHROOM THIS MUCH, CARL. I’M NOT AN IDIOT. ALSO YOU’RE USING THE WRONG TYPE OF INK FOR THIS. REMIND ME, AND I WILL SHOW YOU SOMETHING REALLY AWESOME^[5]

Page 4

System Message. Find the full text on pp. 650-652 of the Kindle and Paperback editions, or starting at 0min of Chapter 73 in the audiobook.

6. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

After all this time, it’s still shocking to me how quickly everything can change.^[6]

7. The Inevitable Ruin

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

Something strange happens when someone worships a deity for the first time.

I didn't know this , but this is, apparently, well-known amongst the masses who watch Dungeon Crawler World. It still strikes me how such obvious things are foreign to most of us experiencing the dungeon for the first time. Rosetta, Tipid, and even stoic Justice Light are telling me things when they can, with the obvious intent of me putting it in here. It's a lot, though, so I'm doing my best.

When one worships a god, a link is formed between the adherent and the immortal. This link comes in the form of an actual, physical, whisker-thin connection made of invisible light. Light that can penetrate almost any substance or spell. After a new adherent pledges themselves, a tiny, non-corporeal fairy mob called a Bijou grabs a tendril of light from the god and drags it to the new worshiper and attaches it to the adherent's heart.

Here's the important part. This line isn't direct. It goes from the god to the strongest temple on the floor and from the temple to the worshiper. This whole process takes about two minutes. From the third flor until the 11th floor, the strongest temple will almost always be inside of Club Vanquisher.

When a person moves around, other tendrils also grow, connecting the adherent to other temples and in some cases, other worshipers. These connections, too, are facilitated by the Bijou fairies.

This strange little quirk of the game usually has no impact on anything, and Rosetta seems to think it's actually some sort of workaround the original designers developed to add the whole deity aspect to the game. Nobody has ever killed or caught or stopped the Bijou, though Mordecai says in theory it should be possible to catch one with a certain type of trap.

But certain people with the proper skills can see the Bijou as they zip between the floors. We have an NPC with us named Edgar. In Edgar's case, he can catch their movement. He can see upward momentum from the ground. This is a sign that someone nearby has just worshiped a god for the first time. Edgar's skill is level-15, and it's called Sense Movement. We are relying on using this to see if Rosetta's theory about the naga escape trick is correct.

Dinniman, Matt. This Inevitable Ruin

(Chapter 49)

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

Something strange happens when someone worships a deity for the first time.

Two quick notes. I've updated the trap recipe for alarm traps based on Justice Light's advice. We can now use recordings, and if you have a proper bard in your party, you can record a magical song and have it play once activated. Details are in the recipe. Donut's bard skills, unfortunately, aren't' good enough for this, but that's something we can work on later. Justice Light also showed me how to access the advanced alarm menu, which comes with a wider music database for the traps. Also, to Donut's delight, we can add a playlist to a trap, meaning we don't' have to have a single song over and over. Still can't adjust the volume.

Second note. Tipid says the mantaurs this season are different than pervious iterations. The ones this season have a group berserking mechanic that can be easily triggered by a certain type of music. This explains why on the fourth floor they were walking around with blasting boomboxes.

Under normal circumstances, you don't want them to get triggered, especially in groups of three or more. See Azin's article on berserking, specifically group berserking, for more details.

Dinniman, Matt. This Inevitable Ruin

(Chapter 55)

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

I know that you're dead, Drakea, but I haven't forgotten how much you hated the naga. If there is a veil, like I know you believed, I hope you watched that from the other side. I'm not sure what the implications of today are for the naga as a people, but I did what I could. I know it's not enough, not yet, but I hope you would be proud of what happened today. I'm doing my best, but goddamn. Goddamn. It's getting harder every day to keep myself from drowning.

Dinniman, Matt. This Inevitable Ruin

(Chapter 55)

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

Operation: Ruin consists of four separate offensives, followed by what Donut calls the "Coup De War Crime."

Each of the four offensives kick of simultaneously and will have multiple, coordinated prongs.

If all goes to plan, everything should be done under seven hours. And since it never goes to plan, we have multiple contingencies in place including a rapid-deploy battalion - the 105th, split in two - ready to teleport to any part of the battlefield at any moment.

In addition, we will have support from Juice Box and the NPC team for all four offensives. Britney will coordinate all of our communication with Team Retribution. It seems she's become quite close with Juice Box. She's gotten very good at being a go-between, working multiple lines of communication with the skill of a seasoned police dispatcher.

Florin will deal with the orcs, Boomer with the Reavers, Donut with the Dream, and my task is the Madness. Tipid will remain at the FUPA to defend, and Rosetta is the designated "Theater Commander," meaning she is in charge of coordinating it all. In addition, Louis will be making multiple bomb runs in support of different operations. There are too many details to relate, and doing so in a single post is akin to trying to explain the Iron Tangle without a map. So I will do my best to focus. I know I will falter in this. I know I will constantly be looking up the status of this operation or that. How can I not when I know my friends will die today?

But I will do my best.

Dinniman, Matt. This Inevitable Ruin

(Chapter 59)

<Note added by Crawler Carl, 25th Edition>

There's a dictionary sitting here in the main room of the guildhall. It's a large, old book. It's from the 1800's, which is a long time ago. Florin, of all people, had it in his inventory. There's a bullet hole right in the center of the book that goes almost all the way through. I keep meaning to ask him about it, but, like with everything, there just doesn't seem to be enough time.

I just used the book to look up the official definition of "Atrocity.".

"An act of fiendish cruelty."

It doesn't seem fair, that definition. Or, perhaps, the definition is correct, but the system calling Donut's War Crime spell an "Atrocity" is wrong. Or maybe it's not wrong, but the true act of fiendish cruelty was giving her that spell in the first place. It came in the Legendary 1914 box, the box we'd received after killing D'Nadia. The same box I'd gotten the Run, Little Gunter, Run spell in.

The sheer difference in capacity between those two spells is astonishing.

I am always afraid our plans won't go as planned. Oftentimes they don't. But never before have I prayed for a plan of my own creation to not be successful, despite us desperately needing it to work.

If she doesn't cast this spell, we likely won't survive the coming hours. But if she does cast it, and it works as advertised, what then?

She's strong. She's smart. She's my best friend. She is the only true family I have left.

She says she's ready, willing, and able to do this. But I fear she doesn't yet know what she's gotten herself into.

And me? If I let her do this? What sort of monster am I?

This is war. What have I done? This is war.

Dinniman, Matt. This Inevitable Ruin

(Chapter 49)

References