System Message. Posting Book 8 spoilers will result in "acceleration" per our rules.
“I still can’t tell if he’s smart or if he’s been outrageously lucky."[1]
Rosetta Thagra is a former Crawler and the author of the Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (9th Edition). She was in the Dungeon, and authored her edition, two seasons before Mordecai's crawl.[2]
Description
Rosetta is a Crest and a former crawler. During her time in the Dungeon, she "was a big fan of blowing things up" and recorded multiple recipes for explosives in the cookbook. The System AI during her season was passionless. She eventually took an indentureship deal and became a Game Guide. As a game guide, she enjoyed the show Little Settler Miss.[2]
Rosetta was only recently released from her indentureship contract. Immediately after leaving the dungeon, she made a documentary about her home world named The Other Side of the Glass. It was well received and entertaining, but the Syndicate largely missed the point. Following the documentary's success, the Open Intellect Pacifist Action Network (OIPAN) funded Rosetta's "raw" weekly talk show, Shadow Boxer, which has been growing in popularity.[2]
When nervous, she rubs her thigh with her right hand.[2] Rosetta is generally always nervous, and always knows where an escape route is.[3]
Appearance
Rosetta is pale, pretty, and appears to be in her early twenties, although her voice sounds older. She has a long flowery tattoo on her right leg, and wears "strange blob"-like wigs on her bald head.[2]
Story
Book 3
Carl uses Rosetta Thagra's entry on backpacks to come up with the idea to build a backpack for Katia Grim that can be equipped to increase her mass for her Doppelgänger race. [4]
Book 6
During the first phase of the Eighth Floor, Zev arranges for Carl and Donut to appear on Shadow Boxer. Quasar spends most of their time on the show making puppy eyes at Rosetta while Harbinger monitors everything for signs of foul play. Rosetta is visibly nervous, her gaze darting to Harbinger, and the interview is initially stilted, only beginning to flow after Donut starts to warm up to her. Although Rosetta is ostensibly interviewing Donut about Earth television programs, she is actually trying to steer Carl and Donut into selecting Miami for the floor's second phase.[2] She then interviews Carl about his childhood (indelicately), while showing fabricated pictures clearly intended to link Milk's cookbook entries to the toraline. Harbinger cuts the interview short.[5]
OIPAN sends a final emergency Benefactor Box containing a flyer for 7AM Christmas Breakfast at the Shepherd's House, where Paulie delivers a routine speech on the Apothecary's orders. Rosetta and the rest of OIPAN disappear almost overnight; her assets are frozen and she is marked as a galactic fugitive.[6] She is currently located in the Homecoming Queen in Earth's orbit.[3]
Book 7
- When Carl gets the Have You Goddamned Figured Out How To Use This In Conjunction With the Fucking Voodoo Book Yet? Jesus Christ I Can Only Help You So Much box Mordecai rushes off to go research the meaning with Rosetta Thagra [8]
Cookbook Entries
Personal Entries
<Note added by Crawler Rosetta. Ninth Edition>
How can they do this? Do they not see us? Are we not real to them? We are the same. By the gods old and new, we are the same. Yet they kill us like we are nothing. Comrades, if I ever get out of this, which seems more and more unlikely by the day, I swear upon the moons I will spend the rest of my days making certain this evil is not only eradicated from the stars, but there will be accountability for their crimes.
I swear it, I swear it, I swear it.[9]
<Note added by Crawler Rosetta. 9th Edition> - Responding to Milk's Personal Entries.
Comrade, I agree. One day, we will make certain they all know. Our words will not be lost. I swear it.[10]
On Explosives
<Note added by Crawler Rosetta. Ninth Edition>
Comrades, you know the high-level madness satchels, the bronze tier ones with the big yield? They are not as useless as they look. Because they randomly fall into rapid de-stability and explode, they are most dangerous unless they are in your inventory, of course. But with the 15-second waiting period after removing it, it makes them almost impossible to use because they can (and do) explode during those fifteen seconds. I have discovered a solution. If you can find or build an equippable backpack, they will not lose stability as long as they are in the backpack and the backpack is equipped. This also works for other party members if you wish to give them explosives to utilize. Use with caution.[11]
On Fairies and Sprites
<Note added by Crawler Rosetta, 9th Edition>
As fragile as they look, fairies and sprites can be difficult to kill. They’re fast. They’re magical. They’re always on alert. They say luck is not a real stat in this place, but I think it is. The luck of these little monsters... it’s unnatural. Something crazy always happens when I try to fight one. Be wary, comrades.
But if you must fight them, pull their wings off. They come off easily. That’s where they store their magic. [12]
On Mercenaries
<Note added by Crawler Rosetta. Ninth Edition>
Never trust mercenaries.[13]
On Stairwells and Faction Wars
<Note added by crawler Rosetta, 9th Edition>
The only way for a crawler to move from one floor to the next is via a stairwell. That’s it. It is an unbreakable rule. There is no skipping floors. At the end of Faction Wars, after the Viceroys pulled out their last minute victory, a portal appeared, and several of the remaining fucks stepped within. It was all of them. The orcs, the viceroys, the operatics, even the nagas, all together, laughing as if they weren’t just bathing in each other’s entrails the day before. It appeared it was taking them to another part of the dungeon. Some sort of nightclub on a different floor for a victory party. They dragged several unwilling NPCs with them, including the librarian elves from the college, whose help was instrumental in our survival. A crawler tried to jump through the portal to save the NPCs, and he was stopped like it was a wall of glass. He tried casting a spell through the portal, but it did not work, though the attempt did catch the attention of the orc prince. The orc stepped back through the glass into the smoldering remains of Larracos, lassoed the crawler, and returned to the portal. The rope pulled itself within, and it cut the crawler in half. We watched as the orc and his friends laughed, just there on the other side of the glass. It was the last crawler they killed, of the thousands who fell during that pointless game.
Tonight, I will dream of watching them burn. Tonight, I will pretend I was smart enough to find a way to lance them from afar.
Comrades, I hope you help me realize my dream one day.[14]
References
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Epilogue) (p.676). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Chapter 12)
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Epilogue)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (Chapter 13)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Chapter 13)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Chapter 51)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. This Inevitable Ruin (Chapter 11)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. This Inevitable Ruin (Chapter 57)
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Chapter 12) (pp.129-130). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Chapter 13) (p. 143) Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (Chapter 13) (p. 191). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Chapter 31) (p. 307). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Butcher's Masquerade (Chapter 33) (p. 299). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
- ↑ Dinniman, Matt. The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Chapter 61) (pp. 576-577). Dandy House. Kindle Edition.
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